Wednesday, March 26, 2014

March 26, 2014

It's been a week since I posted anything that's going on in my life, and apart from some work stupidity that I probably shouldn't write about, there hasn't been much to say.

Bear and D have been squabbling a lot. It's frustrating to watch, and saddening to see her so unhappy when it happens. Sometimes I want to take him aside, but I also realize that she bears some responsibility, and that she needs to be able to resolve these issues herself. I'm there with advice and support, but not to resolve it for her. But still, the mama in me wants to kick his skull in for making my baby cry. Even when she makes him cry, too.

A few weeks ago I bought a pretty tarot deck.
I love the back of the cards, and a lot of the imagery is also pleasing to the eye. I haven't really done anything with it since I got it, so today I pulled out a card at random. It's the 5 of pentacles, which pictures a sad looking guy sitting under a mushroom to shelter from the rain. That's him in the middle:

The traditional interpretation is one of either financial or emotional poverty. Things are looking grim. When it rains it pours. But if you look at the bottom of the card, there's gold at the man's feet. He has wealth he's not recognizing. The five of pentacles (or coins, hearts or stars, depending on the deck) often points to poverty or need that is caused by our own issues... financial crisis caused by greed or irresponsibility with money, loneliness caused by closing oneself off.

Below is a whiny rant. To read it, highlight. Otherwise, skip on.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I've been lonely lately, but I have noticed that now that I've stopped reaching out to friends and family, they're not making the effort to reach out to me.  I have a friend who I used to have dinner with once a month, but always when I contacted her to set the date. I decided to let her contact me this time, and I haven't heard from her since our last get-together in early December. Likewise my sisters. If I don't contact them, we don't communicate. They still have children at home and are busier than I am, but at some point, shouldn't it matter enough that they call to talk? I feel both justified, and small and petty. So, human.

Today I'm grateful for:
1. That I finally got the "nobody cares enough to call" lament off my chest.
2. The boss is back in town today. I really want to talk to him.
3. The major snow they predicted is really just a lot of wind and a dusting.


2 comments:

  1. Aw, I don't think your rant was whiny at all. I think it makes you vulnerable and sensitive and human! It takes courage to reach out, and it hurts when no one reaches back. But we get through these rough patches. You'll get through this one. I know it!

    PS You sound like a very good mom.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Gal! I appreciate your encouragement.

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