Monday, May 29, 2006

Sunday Scribblings: First love

This week's Sunday Scribblings, woefully late (and I can't even blame the holiday).

I was feeling a little alone and unloved, so it was very hard to get into this post without feeling whiny and wistful and self-pitying. Blech.

I thought about this for several days before it occurred to me that my hyper-romantic brain may be outshouting my hyper-literal brain. It was then I could start to write.

My first love was two, but one. Strong, supportive arms, smiling, loving faces. The Parents. That singular but separate unit.

My parents taught me the most important things. How to smile, how to share, how to argue, how to tie my shoes and brush my hair and teeth.

From them I learned to be generous without being taken advantage of. To be kind without being a sucker. To do good for good's sake, not for my own. To stand up for my beliefs, but to be willing to listen to others'. To be firm, but not unyielding. To be strong without being hard.

They taught me that there's always enough love to go around. And that you can argue, fight, shout, and still love. That forgiveness requires understanding on both sides.

From them I learned that giving a gift means choosing what the receiver wants, not what you think they should want or have. That true giving requires knowledge, time and attention, not money.

They taught me that life isn't fair. Sometimes, it downright sucks. But they also taught me that hugs - while they may not fix a problem - go a long way toward making it bearable.

They let me be independent, because I know that even with 1,000 miles between us, they're there for me. My family isn't close, geographically or by communication. We talk infrequently, and visit even less so. But we're a solid, unbreakable unit.

My parents showed me love, taught me to love, were there for me when love disappointed. Because of them, I have love, can give love, have known love and survived heartbreak.

The first faces I saw and the first I recognized. First and always. My parents, my first love(s).

13 comments:

  1. This is love, true, unbreakable, whole and honest!

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  2. Such a beautiful tribute to your parents, which speaks well of the wonderful giving person you've become. Thank you for sharing what you've learned from such powerful love. Well done!

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  3. Thanks for stopping by my site. I love what you say about your parents. Too often we forget the indelible mark parents leave on our lives and hearts.

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  4. Ah! That's a true first love, isn't it - What a lovely, sweet, and well-written tribute to your family!

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  5. solid and unbreakable ....

    beautiful story - what a great love story

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  6. what a beautifully expressed sentiment!

    yes, we can get hung up on the romance thing and lose sight of what's really love.

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  7. Ah, the unconditional love of parents, strong and pure.
    What an absolutely grand love story!

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  8. That was a very moving post. I can feel your unconditional love for your Parents, and theirs for you. I hope you will feel a little less alone and unloved this week.

    John.

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  9. what a gorgeous tribute to the two people who created you. I too have a very strong relationship with my parents and considered writing about them in my post, but decided instead to stretch myself a little, emotionally and as a writer. Thank you for a great post.

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  10. "That true giving requires knowledge, time and attention, not money."

    What a valuable lesson and a lovely legacy. Thanks for sharing about these loves of your life.

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  11. What important lessons to have learnt so early in life. You're a lucky person. And this is a heartwarming tribute to those 'first faces'.

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  12. What a wonderful tribute! As a parent myself, it would be what I most hoped for. Thank you for sharing this.

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  13. >Parents. That singular but separate unit.<

    Beautiful words to remember and to be so distant from each other in all ways but still feeling the connection of the love. Very strong.

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